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August 25, 2023

45 Affirmations For People Pleasers

Kristie Plantinga
,
MA
woman of color closes her eyes meditatively while smiling; affirmations for people pleasers
Guides
August 25, 2023
6 min to read
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Hello, Kristie here 👋🏻 I’m the founder of Best Therapists and a recovering people pleaser.

People pleasing is no joke. My people pleasing habit has historically wrought havoc on my mental health and landed me in some severely codependent relationships.

Working with a therapist helped me a lot, but what helped a surprisingly significant amount is my personal list of people pleasing affirmations.

Today, I’m honored to share my people pleasing affirmations with you. This list has gotten me through some really tough moments, and I hope that they can offer you similar comfort.

45 people pleasing affirmations

I encourage you to sit with each of these people pleasing affirmations.

Some of them may resonate with you more than others, so take what you need and leave the rest. Bookmark this page so you can reread them anytime you feel your people pleasing creep up on you.

Note that several of these affirmations were inspired by this article.

  1. I will say no more often. In fact, say no first and then make a case to yourself for saying yes.
  2. I’m not responsible for other people’s feelings, no matter what they say to me.
  3. I don’t have to go above and beyond for others to be worthy of their love.
  4. I have my own opinions. I don’t have to pretend to agree with everyone else’s.
  5. My self worth comes from within, not from other people.
  6. It’s not my job to comfort everyone all the time. It’s my turn to be comforted.
  7. Some people are not capable of caring about my needs (now, or maybe ever).
  8. I can take ownership of my behaviors, but my intentions aren’t bad. My intentions are left to other people to interpret, and they'll often get it wrong. This is out of my control.
  9. It's not my job to make other people feel good. My emotional life is not for their consumption.
  10. I can express my honest emotions.  
  11. I don’t have to soften my emotional reactions for other people’s comfort.
  12. No one else lives in my body. They don’t feel the impact their behaviors have on my mental health, so I have to advocate for myself.
  13. Other people don't understand the burden they place on me or may not care.
  14. Prioritizing myself isn't selfish. It's necessary.
  15. I don't have to do things on other people's timelines.
  16. My response isn't going to fix another person's emotional problems, and it's not my responsibility anyway.
  17. Their emergency is not my emergency.
  18. Even if I made a mistake, I still deserve boundaries and respect.
  19. Self-protection is a valid reason to establish boundaries. The real question is how did their behavior cause me to seek self-protection?
  20. If people expect love and understanding from me, I get it back. Hard stop.
  21. Even the Grand Canyon has bad reviews. Some people are going to be upset with me no matter what I do.
  22. I don’t base my decisions on eliciting happiness from another person.
  23. Feeling guilty is not my intuition speaking to me.
  24. My energy is the priority—I do not overextend for ANYBODY.
  25. Everyone is entitled to the lesson life is teaching them. It is not my place to teach them anything.
  26. People-pleasing is manipulative.
  27. Few things in life are personal. If someone is mad at me, it might have nothing to do with me.
  28. Just because someone comes to me with an emotion doesn’t mean they’re asking me to fix it. I may be telling myself that story.
  29. I don’t know what is best for everyone, and it’s arrogant to assume that I know what’s best for others.
  30. Another person’s reaction to my boundaries is always a choice–I’m not responsible for how they choose to react.
  31. It’s best for everyone when I speak my truth and prioritize myself first.
  32. Stop overexplaining.
  33. I am enough, regardless of who is “happy” with me or not.
  34. When I feel myself overextending and rearranging my life to conform to the needs of others, I am people pleasing.
  35. People pleasing is NOT a personality trait–it is a habit.
  36. I will make mistakes. They’re unavoidable, and I can’t live my trying to run from making them.
  37. People pleasing is a choice.
  38. Stop making promises that you don’t want to (or can’t) keep.
  39. Other people should never take up 100% of my attention.
  40. Conflict and disagreements are unavoidable, so get comfortable with them.
  41. It’s okay if people think I’m selfish. Even if I am, who friggin’ cares?
  42. Honesty is the best policy. When I’m not honest, I am lying.
  43. The people who really love me want me to speak my mind.
  44. If I feel tight for time, I am likely people pleasing in some way.
  45. My opinion matters the most.

I hope these affirmations for people pleasers help 💚

Get professional help with your people pleasing

Affirmations are a great step in your people pleasing recovery, but professional help is even better.

If you’re ready to start therapy, start consulting with some of our specialists–we vet all therapists on our platform so you can focus on fit, not quality.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga
,
MA

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
,
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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