Are You In A Codependent Relationship Quiz

Do you find yourself constantly putting your partner's needs before your own, even when it costs you your peace of mind? Do you feel responsible for their happiness—like if they're having a bad day, it's somehow your job to fix it?

If any of that sounds familiar, you're not alone.

Here's the thing about codependency: it doesn't feel like a problem at first. It feels like love. It feels like being a good partner. You tell yourself you're just being supportive, just being there for someone you care about. But somewhere along the way, you look up and realize you can't remember the last time you did something just for you. You've lost track of your own opinions, your own hobbies, maybe even your own identity.

And honestly? It's exhausting. Constantly monitoring someone else's moods, walking on eggshells, sacrificing your needs to keep the peace—that takes a toll.

The good news is that recognizing these patterns is the first step toward changing them. So many people struggle with codependent tendencies (way more than you'd think!), especially if you grew up learning to manage other people's emotions or always put yourself last. There's no shame in realizing you've fallen into this pattern. It's actually really brave to take an honest look at your relationship dynamics.

This quick quiz will help you identify whether codependency might be showing up in your relationship. Sometimes just seeing these patterns written out can be a lightbulb moment—that "oh shit, that's exactly what I do" realization.

From there, you can start building healthier boundaries, reclaiming your sense of self, and creating the kind of balanced relationship you actually want (not just the one you think you're supposed to have).

Let's dive in.

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

Take our quiz below ↓

Your privacy is important to us, so all results are completely anonymous and no email is required.

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Example scenarios

• The Disappearing Partner: Lisa was once an avid runner who trained for marathons, hosted monthly book club meetings, and had a thriving career in graphic design. But after two years with her boyfriend Jake, her friends barely recognize her. She gave up running because Jake didn't like being alone on weekends. She stopped hosting book club because Jake thought her friends were "too loud." She even turned down a promotion because Jake was uncomfortable with her traveling for work. Lisa constantly checks her phone during the day, anxious about Jake's mood. If he texts that he's had a bad day, she immediately plans how to fix it—canceling her own plans, cooking his favorite meal, doing extra housework. When her sister suggested she seemed unhappy, Lisa insisted everything was fine and Jake "needed her." Lisa can't remember the last time she did something just for herself, and when asked about her interests, she draws a blank. Her entire identity has become wrapped up in being Jake's girlfriend.
• The Emotional Firefighter: Marcus has been dating his girlfriend Emma for three years, and he's exhausted. Every day feels like an emotional emergency he must solve. If Emma is stressed about work, Marcus drops everything to help—even calling in sick to his own job to keep her company. When Emma's anxiety flares, Marcus feels physically ill until he can calm her down. He's learned to read her moods instantly and adjust his behavior accordingly—walking on eggshells to avoid triggering her anger or sadness. Marcus hasn't seen his best friend in months because Emma gets upset when he makes plans without her. He lies awake at night worrying about Emma's problems, Googling solutions, planning conversations. His family has expressed concern, but Marcus insists they "just don't understand how much Emma needs him." He believes if he just tries harder, does more, loves her better, everything will be okay. The thought of leaving terrifies him—not just because he loves her, but because he can't imagine who he'd be without someone to take care of.
• The Serial Accommodator: Jennifer has never said no to her husband David in their ten-year marriage. When David wanted to move across the country away from her family, she agreed despite her heartbreak. When he decided they should postpone having children (something she deeply wanted), she went along with it. When David's critical comments about her weight started, Jennifer immediately joined a gym and developed disordered eating patterns to please him. She manages all the household responsibilities while working full-time because David says he's "too stressed" to help. Jennifer has stopped sharing her opinions because David always finds them "wrong" or "illogical," and the ensuing arguments leave her feeling worthless. She's given up friends David didn't approve of, changed her appearance to match his preferences, and abandoned her dream of going back to school because David thought it was "impractical." When her therapist suggested her relationship might be unhealthy, Jennifer defended David and stopped going to therapy. She believes that if she just becomes the perfect wife—more understanding, more patient, more selfless—David will finally be happy, and then she'll feel worthy of love.

Important Note: These are fictional scenarios and not a diagnostic tool. If you recognize yourself in these patterns or suspect you might be in a codependent relationship, it's important to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide personalized guidance and help you build healthier relationship patterns.