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May 17, 2024

Is My Family Toxic Quiz

Kristie Plantinga
woman of possible asian descent talks on the phone looking exasperated; is my family toxic quiz
May 17, 2024
2 min to read
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We know how difficult it can be to come to terms with the possibility that your family dynamic may be unhealthy or even toxic. It's a sensitive and complex topic that can bring up a lot of complicated emotions. 

Perhaps you've always sensed that something wasn't quite right, but felt guilty or ashamed to admit it. Or maybe you've had an inkling for a while, but are unsure of how to proceed. Whatever your situation, please know that you are not alone. 

Many people struggle with family toxicity and its impacts on their mental well-being. This quiz is designed to provide clarity and guidance, not to pass judgment. Be gentle with yourself as you reflect on these questions. 

Remember that how your family makes you feel is valid, and your needs and boundaries deserve to be respected. 

If the results indicate that there may be a toxic dynamic, resources for professional support are available. You have the power to heal and build the healthy relationships you deserve.

Note: While we use the phrase “toxic family” in this quiz, know that a person isn’t inherently “toxic.” Rather, they can engage in behaviors that are toxic to creating a healthy, reciprocal relationship. 

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

Take our quiz below ↓

Your privacy is important to us, so all results are completely anonymous and no email is required.

Toxic family - Scenarios of unhealthy dynamics with adult children

In adulthood, family dynamics can become even more complex. Here are some examples of how family members might exhibit toxic behavior toward their adult child:

Scenario 1 - The conditional love dispenser

  • The situation: You make a life choice your family disapproves of, like pursuing a different career path or moving to a new city.
  • The toxic twist: Your family withholds affection or financial support in an attempt to manipulate you into changing your mind. They might make comments like, "We'll only be proud of you if..." creating a sense of obligation and guilt.

Scenario 2 - The emotional blackmailers

  • The situation: You're struggling financially or facing a personal challenge. Your family uses this vulnerability to guilt-trip you into fulfilling their needs or expectations.
  • The toxic twist: They might make passive-aggressive comments about needing your help or threaten to withdraw their emotional support unless you meet their demands.

Scenario 3 - The boundary stompers

  • The situation: You set healthy boundaries regarding visits, phone calls, or involvement in your personal life. Your family members disregard these boundaries and become intrusive or controlling.
  • The toxic twist: They might constantly call you uninvited, make critical comments about your life choices, or show up at your doorstep unannounced, disrespecting your privacy and autonomy.

Scenario 4 - The information brokers

  • The situation: You share personal news or confide in a family member. They gossip about your private life to other relatives or spread rumors, creating unnecessary drama and conflict.
  • The toxic twist: This betrayal of trust damages communication and makes you hesitant to share anything personal with them again.

Scenario 5 - The "golden child" comparer

  • The situation: You achieve a personal goal or celebrate a milestone. Your family constantly compares you to a seemingly perfect sibling or cousin, diminishing your accomplishments and highlighting your perceived flaws.
  • The toxic twist: This favoritism creates a competitive and emotionally unhealthy dynamic, leaving you feeling inadequate and unseen.

Remember: These are just a few examples. If your family consistently exhibits toxic behaviors that make you feel disrespected, manipulated, or emotionally drained, it's important to prioritize your well-being. Consider setting boundaries, limiting contact, or seeking therapy to navigate a healthier relationship dynamic. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, regardless of your family history.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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