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April 2, 2024

Is My Wife Controlling Quiz

Kristie Plantinga
a white man sits on the edge of his bed looking tired while his wife sits behind him angrily; is my wife controlling quiz
April 2, 2024
5 min to read
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Feeling smothered, criticized, and constantly monitored in your own relationship can be extremely painful and demoralizing.

Your wife's jealousy, attempts to control your behaviors, and unreasonable demands have likely left you questioning your self-worth and feeling trapped. You may love your wife deeply but also recognize that her need for control over you has become unhealthy and is negatively impacting your mental health.

If you suspect that you are being abused, please go to the the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Support is available, and there is no shame in seeking support and advice. You're not alone. Almost half of all men and women in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

You do not deserve to be treated this way in what is supposed to be an equal partnership. This short quiz can help provide some insight into whether your wife's behaviors constitute an unhealthy level of control in the relationship. 

No matter the results, resources for counseling and support are provided, because you deserve to feel respected, trusted, and free to be yourself.

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

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Your privacy is important to us, so all results are completely anonymous and no email is required.

Example controlling scenarios

Here are some scenarios to reflect on as you consider controlling behavior from your wife.

Scenario → The schedule dictator

  • Looking back: Your wife meticulously plans and controls your daily routine, leaving little room for spontaneity or individual preferences.  She might get upset if you deviate from the schedule, making you feel like you need her permission for even small decisions.
  • Controlling behavior: This micromanagement restricts your autonomy and freedom to manage your own time.

Scenario 2 → The green-eyed gatekeeper

  • Looking Back: Your wife constantly monitors your interactions with female colleagues or friends. She might make passive-aggressive comments, question your motives, or try to sabotage these relationships through guilt trips or manipulation.
  • Controlling behavior: This stems from insecurity and a need to control who you interact with, limiting your social circle and professional opportunities.

Scenario 3 → The information black hole

  • Looking back: Your wife expects you to disclose every detail of your day, work conversations, and online activity. She might get upset if you keep something private, making you feel like you have no right to personal boundaries.
  • Controlling behavior: This lack of trust and need for complete transparency stifles open communication and fosters an environment of suspicion.

Scenario 4 → The "just helping" manipulator

  • Looking back: Your wife insists on doing everything for you, from household chores to errands, even when you offer to help. She might make you feel incompetent or dismiss your attempts to contribute, fostering a sense of learned helplessness.
  • Controlling behavior: This disguised manipulation keeps you dependent on her and reinforces the idea that you can't function without her control.

Scenario 5 → The silent treatment specialist

  • Looking back: Your wife uses the silent treatment as a punishment whenever you disagree with her or don't meet her expectations. This emotional withdrawal leaves you confused, frustrated, and desperate to appease her to regain her approval.
  • Controlling behavior: This silent treatment is emotional abuse that manipulates your feelings and forces you to give in to her demands to avoid conflict.

Scenario 6 → The "my way or the high way" partner

  • Looking back: Your wife insists that you do things "her way," or else she claims that you don't love her enough and that you are being selfish. You feel guilty, even though you think your opinion matters, too.
  • Controlling behavior: Your wife manipulates you into thinking you're being selfish so she can get her way.

Remember, these are just a few examples. If your wife exhibits consistent patterns of controlling behavior that make you feel suffocated, isolated, or emotionally abused, it's important to seek help from a trusted source or domestic violence hotline. You are not alone.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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