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February 26, 2024

Do You Have a Fear of Intimacy Test

Kristie Plantinga
asian woman in glasses holds a mug that she's about to drink from; do you have a fear of intimacy test
February 26, 2024
2 min to read
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It's understandable to feel apprehensive about emotional closeness in relationships. True intimacy requires vulnerability—and that can be terrifying. 

You may notice yourself putting up walls or sabotaging budding connections without even knowing why. 

If you think you might struggle with an intense fear of intimacy, you likely have underlying wounds that need some healing. With our fear of intimacy quiz, we want to help you gain insight so you can start embracing intimacy—not avoiding it.

This is a no-judgment space, and your results are anonymous.

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

Take our quiz below ↓

Your privacy is important to us, so all results are completely anonymous and no email is required.

Need more answers?

Frequently asked questions

What are common signs of a fear of intimacy?

According to Psych Central, below are some common signs of a fear of intimacy:

  • Avoiding or sabotaging relationships that get too close emotionally or physically
  • Being afraid of abandonment or rejection by your partner
  • Being too independent or self-reliant and not asking for help or support
  • Being flaky or inconsistent in your communication or commitment to your partner
  • Being a perfectionist or having unrealistic expectations of yourself or your partner
  • Being a workaholic or having other addictive behaviors that distract you from intimacy
  • Having low self-esteem or feeling unworthy of love and intimacy
  • Having trouble expressing or discussing your emotions or feelings with your partner
  • Having difficulty trusting or being vulnerable with your partner
What can causee a fear of intimacy?

According to Healthline, below are a few common causes of a fear of intimacy:

  • Previous abuse or neglect in childhood or adulthood that made you associate intimacy with pain, betrayal, or abandonment
  • Parental separation or overdependence that made you insecure or anxious about attachment and loss
  • Fear of being controlled or losing oneself in a relationship that made you value your independence and autonomy more than intimacy
  • Medical problems that affect your sexual function or confidence and make you avoid physical intimacy
  • Religious beliefs that make you feel guilty or ashamed of sexual intimacy
How can I overcome my fear of intimacy?

According to Psych Central, below are a few ways to overcome a fear of intimacy:

  • Identify the root cause of your fear and how it affects your relationships
  • Challenge your negative self-talk and beliefs about intimacy and replace them with positive affirmations
  • Practice expressing your feelings and needs to your partner and listen to theirs without judgment or defensiveness
  • Figure out your comfort levels and boundaries in intimacy and communicate them clearly to your partner
  • Do some inner child work to heal the wounds from your past and reconnect with your authentic self
  • Seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed or stuck in your fear of intimacy.

A therapist can help you explore your issues, provide support, and teach you coping skills.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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Show sources and research articles
  1. Smith, T.W. (2022, October 29). 5 Ways to Deal with an Intimacy Phobic Person. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways-to-deal-with-an-intimacy-phobic-person
  2. Zamorski, B. (2021, May 24). Fear of intimacy: Symptoms, causes, diagnosis, and more. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/fear-of-intimacy
  3. Sherwood, A. (2022, September 29). Afraid of Getting Close to Someone? Fear of Intimacy. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/blog/afraid-of-getting-close-to-someone-fear-of-intimacy/