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April 1, 2024

Was My Ex a Narcissist Quiz

Kristie Plantinga
black man covers his face with one hand; was my ex a narcissist quiz
April 1, 2024
5 min to read
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Breakups are tough, and after you get some space, you might start to question the nature of the relationship. Were you in a relationship marked by a one-sided dynamic, where your needs seemed to come second? Did your ex often put you down or make you question your own reality? 

This quiz can help you explore these experiences and gain clarity on whether narcissistic behavior might have played a role. 

Remember, you're not alone, and healing is possible. Take the quiz, and if it resonates, we've included resources for professional help to support you on your journey.

Disclaimer: While this quiz can help you identify some signs of narcissistic tendencies, it is important to remember that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is typically diagnosed in adults. This is because children and teens are naturally more self-centered and their behavior can sometimes mimic narcissistic traits. As they mature, they typically develop empathy and social skills that differentiate them from adults with NPD. 

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

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Your privacy is important to us, so all results are completely anonymous and no email is required.

Example narcissistic scenarios

Here are some scenarios to consider as you reflect on your past relationship and wonder if your ex exhibited narcissistic tendencies.

Scenario 1 → The one-sided support system

  • Looking back: You were always there for your ex, celebrating their successes and offering emotional support during tough times. However, when you needed similar support, your ex seemed unavailable or dismissive of your feelings.
  • Narcissistic trait: This could indicate a lack of empathy and a one-sided approach to the relationship, where their needs were prioritized over yours.

Scenario 2 → The constant critic

  • Looking back: Throughout the relationship, your ex seemed to constantly criticize your appearance, choices, or achievements. These criticisms might have chipped away at your self-esteem and left you questioning your own decisions.
  • Narcissistic trait: This pattern of negativity could be a sign of a need to control and diminish your sense of self-worth.

Scenario 3 → The jealousy machine

  • Looking back: You felt you couldn't have close friendships or interests outside the relationship without your ex becoming jealous or insecure. Their possessiveness might have limited your social circle and personal growth.
  • Narcissistic trait: Excessively controlling behavior and jealousy can be signs of a need to maintain power and feel superior in the relationship.

Scenario 4: The charmer turned cold

  • Looking back: The beginning of the relationship was a whirlwind of affection and compliments. However, over time, the compliments turned into criticisms, and the affection became manipulative or conditional.
  • Narcissistic trait: The "love bombing" phase could be a tactic to gain your trust and affection, followed by a devaluation stage where they exert control through emotional manipulation.

Scenario 5: The blame game champion

  • Looking back: Whenever there was a disagreement or conflict, your ex seemed to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They might have blamed you for their mistakes or used guilt trips to make you feel responsible for their happiness.
  • Narcissistic trait: A lack of accountability and a tendency to blame others can be signs of an inflated sense of self-importance and an inability to admit fault.

Remember, these are just a few scenarios, and the severity can vary. If your ex displayed consistent patterns of these behaviors and your relationship caused emotional distress, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor to gain clarity and support as you move forward.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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